


Lo, The Dragonborn Heroically Loses Her Lunch

by ASpotofBother



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Humor, complete authorial self-indulgence, old!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26462842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASpotofBother/pseuds/ASpotofBother
Summary: In his humble opinion, Marcurio really should have been paid more than five hundred gold for this.
Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn & Marcurio
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Lo, The Dragonborn Heroically Loses Her Lunch

**Author's Note:**

> Cleaning out old files and came across this drabble written in 2014. Polished it and threw it up because why not?

Marcurio heaved a long-suffering sigh and tilted his head back to stare at the sky, studying the clouds scudding across his field of vision as he spoke over his shoulder. “Y'know, it’s moments like this that never seem to make it into the bards’ songs – probably for good reason.” The Dragonborn’s only response was to continue retching into the bushes behind him. “I mean, can you imagine what they’d call this little episode? _Lo, The Dragonborn Heroically Loses Her Lunch_? Doesn’t really roll off the tongue, does it?” She moaned, the sound low and miserable. “You’ll get no pity from me,” he said. “This is what happens when you go around stuffing strange plants in your mouth.”

“For Stendarr’s sake, please shut up,” she muttered.

He obediently fell silent, but otherwise made no attempt to hide his amusement as she stumbled to her feet. “You look a complete mess.” She threw a baleful glare in his direction as she swiped her hair back from her forehead, which he readily ignored. “I hope this brings your little foray into alchemy to a blessed halt?”

“You could’ve warned me,” she said sulkily, snatching the proffered water skin from his hand and rinsing her mouth before she spat the last of the bile into the bushes.

“You’re an intelligent woman – usually,” he amended. “I didn’t think I needed to warn you not to swallow unfamiliar plant life.”

“Arcadia said the best way to learn a plant’s properties was to ingest it."

He crossed his arms in exasperation. “I would think that with a name like _Deathbell_ its properties should be apparent enough.”

“And how was I to know its name?” she snapped, crossing her own arms and glaring at him. “I’ve never seen it before!”

“I was trying to _tell_ you when you popped the forsaken thing into your mouth."

The anger went out of her expression as she deflated. “Oh.”

“Yes, _oh_."

The silence stretched as she visibly struggled for a suitable retort; finally, she huffed and turned away, muttering something about insufferable mages. “So you don’t want me to add these to my pack, then?” he called after her retreating back. The look she shot him was pure poison, but he only shook his head, grinning, and hurried to catch up.


End file.
